One of a Kind

Today is day 12 in the NICU and Jayden is still making amazing progress. She is definitely a little fighter and all day I've been thinking about how incredibly lucky we are. Looking back over the past few years and the past few months, everything has prepared me to be Jayden's mommy. Thank God the past few years I've been working from home because I can't even imagine if I had to worry about going back to work in an office and I couldn't be here with her! So many babies in the NICU don't have their mommies and daddies here with them...instead they have volunteers referred to as "cuddlers" that go from bed to bed holding babies that don't get out of their isolette or their crib because no one is here to hold them :-(

Our neighbor baby had a cuddler today that was singing to her. It made me cry because this elderly man who had no relationship with this baby sat and held her for over an hour and gave of himself to help this darling baby feel loved. He told the nurse he was singing his best songs to her because her mommy and daddy couldn't be here. How amazing is that? 

Yesterday was the first day we were able to dress our little darling in preemie clothes...even the xs preemie was too big! But she still looked adorable!! I can't wait to get some cute bows on her :-) thanks so much to all our friends and family that gave her preemie outfits!! She looks absolutely adorable!

Promise Walk

For those of you who don't know, a few years back I decided to try something completely out of my comfort zone and run a half marathon for charity! YIKES!!! I trained by myself for three months and set a goal to run it under 2 1/2 hours. I was so proud when I crossed the finish line at 2 hours 15 minutes and 3 seconds :-)

Well after being diagnosed with preclampsia, my brother did some research and found out there is 1.3k and 2.6k walk in my very own hometown of Irvine, CA! Thank goodness it's no half marathon because that would require training and I'm not even fully healed from my c-section! The Promise Walk for Preclampsia is on May 18th at Bill Barber Park. I'm so excited and I'm already signed up :-) I named my team after my precious daughter Jayden Faith and would be so honored if you would walk with me or donate to help us reach our goal!!

Here's my team page:
http://www.promisewalk.org/pfpw/participantpage.asp?uid=8830&fundid=3064

And here's the link to read more about the foundation and the walk: 
http://promisewalk.org/pfpw/fundevent.asp?nnaffundid=7

Plumping Up

Today is day 10 in the NICU and Jayden is making HUGE progress! She is off the IV and we will hopefully begin feeding by mouth in a few days!! I am so excited to watch her make little baby steps. I was here when they took the PICC line (IV) out of her...she cried just a little but of course she has the most adorable cry I have ever heard! I know people think I'm crazy, but I love hearing her cry. She also gained weight since yesterday! She's finally plumping up LOL... she surpassed her birth weight and is a full 3 pounds!! Again, I know it's baby steps but its better than her weight a week ago when she was at 2 lbs 9 ounces. Even though baby Jayden is in a very low percentile, I feel so incredibly blessed. Being in the NICU everyday, you see and hear about so many babies with medical problems and it just makes me so thankful she is making amazing progress.

Jonathan and I can't wait to take her home!! I think so many new parents take the smallest things for granted when they take their baby home. I can't wait for all those small moments!!  I can't wait until she wakes me up in the middle of the night to eat...it will be a million times better than the alarm waking me up now to pump!! I can't wait to rock her to sleep in a comfy rocker at home instead of the squeaky uncomfortable rocker at the hospital. I can't wait to watch her sleep in her cradle instead of watching her sleep in her isolette. Being a mommy is the most rewarding and exciting thing that has ever happened in my life and so far this journey has been quite scary at times but overall absolutely amazing.

Husband/Daddy of the Year

As I lay here next to my husband at 2:30 am in the morning, I can't sleep. Ironic I just received an email titled "Insomnia" from What to Expect When You're Expecting...obviously this applies postpartum as well.

For those that know my hubby, Jonathan is definitely a creature of habit!! He loves his routine and he loves structure. In the past two weeks, his world has completely flipped upside down and literally everything has changed. Two weeks ago, my amazing husband started a new career (congrats babe...we still need to celebrate!), three days later I was admitted to the hospital (and was going to be held hostage until delivery), two days later we welcomed our beautiful little miracle baby Jayden and the next four days he spent split between the labor & delivery unit at Hoag and the CHOC NICU. Now his days are in the office, his evenings are in the hospital and his nights are spent helping me around the house while I recover from my c-section. Talk about change!! And not once has he complained. He has been my rock every single day and my solid ground every single time I break down (which is a lot).

Jayden and I are the luckiest girls in the world and I am so proud of you Jonathan Scott Erickson!

XOXOXO

Cornerstone

Before heading over to see our little darling this morning, I went to church with the fam. Of course during worship I was overly emotional and one song in particular spoke directly to me. I'm so thankful my family was there since Jonathan couldn't go this morning.  Jonathan and I have just felt like we have so much on our plate and I am so incredibly thankful for those who have been so supportive and helping us get through this difficult time. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your love and support!! We appreciate it more than you know!!

Cornerstone by Hillsong

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus blood and righteousness

I dare not trust the sweetest frame

But wholly trust in Jesus name

Christ alone; cornerstone

Weak made strong; in the Saviour's love

Through the storm, He is Lord

Lord of all

When Darkness seems to hide His face

I rest on His unchanging grace

In every high and stormy gale

My anchor holds within the veil

My anchor holds within the veil

Christ alone; cornerstone

Weak made strong; in the Saviour's love

Through the storm, He is Lord

Lord of all

He is Lord

Lord of all

Christ alone

Christ alone; cornerstone

Weak made strong; in the Saviour's love

Through the storm, He is Lord

Lord of all

When He shall come with trumpet sound,

Oh, may I then in Him be found;

Dressed in His righteousness alone,

Faultless stand before the throne.

Baby Steps

Baby Jayden is a week old today and she is making amazing progress! She is completely off  all breathing tubes and only has a feeding tube and monitors measuring her heart rate, respiratory rate, oxygen levels and temperature. She is also off the billi lights and her skin is finally lightening and doesn't look so red. The nurse said we are making progress but everything just takes a long time and we are taking baby steps.

I can't believe how much baby Jayden looks like me!! :-D She even has my curls (which Jonathan is a little nervous about!) I can't wait to see him brush her hair when she is older LOL!!

She is so beautiful... I'm so in love with her and I miss her so much when we have to leave the hospital. Yesterday our nurse said there is a possibility Jayden might be transferred back to Hoag. We are hoping she stays here at CHOC as we have become really close to the nurses that take care of her. All the nurses that take care of Jayden request to have her on all their shifts! How cool is that?

Hopefully our little Jayden can stay here until she is ready to go home...and hopefully that is soon!

Love at First Sight

While I was pregnant, I always imagined, or would attempt to compare, my love for my husband or my nephews or my family for the little baby growing in my tummy. I couldn't imagine a love different than what I knew in my heart already existed around me. A love different than what I already experienced in my life. And then she was born.

There are no words to describe a mothers love for her baby. While I laid in the hospital bed 30 miles away from my baby for 3 1/2 days, I imagined what it would be like the next time I held her, the next time I touched her, the next time I saw her. I missed her so much.

Wednesday, February 20th I was finally released from the hospital at 11:00 am. After packing our bags, loading the car and signing the discharge papers, we were on our way to CHOC around 11:30. On the way over I was an emotional wreck. I was crying and I had no idea why. All I knew is I had to hold Jayden and I had to hold her ASAP.

As they wheeled me into the NICU I was so excited! I saw her name tag on her bed and there she was!! All 2 lbs 15 oz of pure beauty and joy and happiness. She was perfect. As they picked her up to let me hold her skin to skin, I was overwhelmed with emotions. The past 3 1/2 days of waiting were completely worth it! And there truly are no words to describe the pure unconditional love I have for our baby girl!! We spent about 5 hours with her before I started getting really sore and tired and knew I needed to go home and rest for my visit the next day!

That night was my first night home in a week. I cried myself to sleep thinking about Jayden. I missed her so much and I still couldn't believe she was here, but not here with me. My sweet hubby offered to drive me back to the hospital around midnight, but I knew I needed to rest since I would be back there first thing in the morning.

As I drifted to sleep all I could think was how much I love being a mommy!!!!!

Our Little Miracle

Saturday, February 16th, 2013...Who knew it would be the day that changed our lives forever.

It started off like the previous 2 days at Hoag hospital...32 weeks pregnant and diagnosed with a disease called preeclampsia.  Little baby Jayden was doing awesome and I was feeling great.  I did not get much sleep the night before, but I took a nap with my husband from 3-5:30pm.  Our dinner had just arrived.  Jonathan had the chicken sandwich and macaroni and cheese and I ordered the filet mignon, which wasn't anything to write home about.  During dinner I had noticed a slight blur in my vision.  I let Jonathan know and he told me that it might be because we just woke up and to give it 5-10 minutes to see if it gets better.  About 15 minutes later I let the nurse know and within seconds three nurses swarmed my bed followed by Dr. Vasquez.  As you can imagine my heart rate and blood pressure immediately spiked up as I was wondering what was going on.  Dr. Vazquez explained that because I had blurred vision along with all the other symptoms (high blood pressure, protein in my urine, low platelet, etc.) that they might begin prepping me for a c-section birth.  They filled my IV with magnesium to try and counteract the symptoms.  From 7pm-9pm I laid in my hospital bed surrounded by friends and family waiting to find out if little Jayden was going to make her big debut tonight.

All the while, my mom was back in Arkansas with my little sister Lexi helping her because she had given birth earlier that morning to her beautiful daughter Brooklyn.  I was freaking out!  I didn't know what was going to happen. During this entire ordeal, Jonathan was my rock.  He comforted me, prayed with me and reassured me that everything was going to be all right.   He made me feel so comfortable that I knew everything was going to be great.  Around 9:30 they decided we were going to move forward with the emergency c-section and the prep began for surgery.

At 11:13 pm on Saturday, February 16th, 2013 I gave birth to the most beautiful little girl in the world!

Jayden Faith Erickson
2 lbs. 15 oz.
14.5 inches long

Home Away from Home

This journey all started 8 months ago when my husband and I found out we were pregnant. We struggled with infertility and when we found out we were expecting we knew our little one was truly a miracle and a gift from God. I felt an immediate love so strong for this little embryo in my belly that was almost beyond my control. I followed all the typical pregnancy rules...no bubbly champagne to celebrate, no caffeine (how would I survive without my morning coffee?!), no sushi (this will be torture!)??? But I knew she would be worth it and I was willing to do anything to make sure our baby was safe and sound.

Fast forward 8 months and here we are at our new home away from home...the hospital.

Thursday, February 14th, 2013 started out as a typical day...laundry in the morning, checked a few work emails and headed to my OB check up at 9:45. After being called in to meet with the doc, she checked my vitals and with eyes wide open she proceeded to tell me I needed to go to the hospital to be monitored for high blood pressure. High blood pressure I thought...I'll be fine! Clearly nothing is wrong with me and I was sure it was nothing a few hours at home on the sofa won't cure! I told her I had a conference call meeting at noon and I would head over after. She insisted I cancel my meeting or at the very least I go straight to the hospital after my call. I said fine and still didn't understand what was so urgent about high blood pressure...I mean, I felt fine and little Jayden's heartbeat was perfect during my appointment.

After leaving the doctors office, I felt compelled to contact my potential client and see if it was even possible to reschedule our call to the following week. Turns out my main contact was also pregnant and was completely understanding! She insisted I head to the hospital and we could reschedule.

So there I was, headed to the hospital to get monitored for "high blood pressure" (again I thought this was no big deal and I would be home in time to clean up and make a yummy Valentines Day dinner for my hubby). I insisted my husband, Jonathan, stay at work as I was told I would only be monitored for an hour, maybe two, so there was nothing urgent and I would be just fine.

I walked into the labor and delivery department thinking everyone was completely over reacting and I could be at home working. They had me change into one of those horrible hospital gowns and hooked me up to a blood pressure machine, baby monitor to check for her heartbeat and contractions and the nurse took some blood and urine samples for a few standard tests. After they took my blood pressure again, she looked at me amazed as my results were 170/112 (yikes). Ok so I still didn't know what that meant for Jayden and how that could impact her.

A few hours later, my blood and urine results came in and it turns out I had symptoms of preeclampsia. The nurse said they will be admitting me into the hospital and not to plan on leaving anytime soon! WHAT? I have nothing with me...I had come straight from the doctors office and now I'm not allowed to leave :-( I called Jonathan and he immediately left work, went home to grab some stuff for me and headed to the hospital.

After being observed for 48 hours now, they have confirmed I have pregnancy induced hypertension/preeclampsia. So now we are stuck at the hospital...our new home away from home and I will be here until I deliver little Jayden! The doctors are hoping I stay stable enough to carry to at least 34 weeks and best case scenario 35/36 weeks.... Meaning I will be stuck here on bed rest for a veryyyyy longgggg time.

Good news is that little Jayden is doing awesome and my lab results are stable. My urine protein level is pretty high at 2400 (which should be around only 300), my blood pressure is high normal at 140/80ish, creatinine kidney blood test came back at .8 one day and .9 the second day (a little worse but still stable) and my platelet count is 140k.

Luckily, God was watching over us and pointed me in the direction of the hospital. And what amazing doctors we have! Praise God for their passion, their knowledge and their kindness! Not once have I felt like an inconvenience or a pain by asking what seems like a million questions! They all come in and are more than accommodating.

We just continue to pray God watches over us and protects our little miracle.