Love at First Sight

While I was pregnant, I always imagined, or would attempt to compare, my love for my husband or my nephews or my family for the little baby growing in my tummy. I couldn't imagine a love different than what I knew in my heart already existed around me. A love different than what I already experienced in my life. And then she was born.

There are no words to describe a mothers love for her baby. While I laid in the hospital bed 30 miles away from my baby for 3 1/2 days, I imagined what it would be like the next time I held her, the next time I touched her, the next time I saw her. I missed her so much.

Wednesday, February 20th I was finally released from the hospital at 11:00 am. After packing our bags, loading the car and signing the discharge papers, we were on our way to CHOC around 11:30. On the way over I was an emotional wreck. I was crying and I had no idea why. All I knew is I had to hold Jayden and I had to hold her ASAP.

As they wheeled me into the NICU I was so excited! I saw her name tag on her bed and there she was!! All 2 lbs 15 oz of pure beauty and joy and happiness. She was perfect. As they picked her up to let me hold her skin to skin, I was overwhelmed with emotions. The past 3 1/2 days of waiting were completely worth it! And there truly are no words to describe the pure unconditional love I have for our baby girl!! We spent about 5 hours with her before I started getting really sore and tired and knew I needed to go home and rest for my visit the next day!

That night was my first night home in a week. I cried myself to sleep thinking about Jayden. I missed her so much and I still couldn't believe she was here, but not here with me. My sweet hubby offered to drive me back to the hospital around midnight, but I knew I needed to rest since I would be back there first thing in the morning.

As I drifted to sleep all I could think was how much I love being a mommy!!!!!